Quirky Inventions That Never Quite Took Off
By Jack Ripley | June 11, 2024
Tomatan: The Tomato-Feeding Wearable Wonder
Innovation often dances on the fine line between genius and absurdity, and history is filled with inventions that, while quirky and imaginative, never quite found their footing. These creations, born from the minds of inventors with visions of transforming the world, ended up as curious footnotes in the annals of innovation. From contraptions that promised convenience to gadgets that were ahead of their time, these inventions offer a fascinating glimpse into the boundless creativity and occasional missteps of human ingenuity. Join us as we explore the peculiar world of inventions that, despite their unique charm, never managed to take off.
Meet Tomatan, the whimsical creation born from the playful minds at Kagome, the Japanese juice vendor. This wearable wonder, positioned snugly behind your head, doubles as both a tomato dispenser and a symbol of ingenious marketing. While initially conceived as a lighthearted ploy to promote Kagome's juicy tomatoes, Tomatan transcends its novelty to become a delightful spectacle in marathons. As sponsored athletes don the distinctive harness, the sight of them munching on fresh tomatoes mid-run transforms into a memorable marketing moment, capturing the imagination of onlookers and media alike. With its built-in timer ensuring a steady supply of tangy treats, Tomatan embodies the fusion of innovation and branding, proving that even the most unconventional inventions can leave a lasting impression.
Amphicar: The Dubious Legacy of Amphibious Endeavors
Yoichi Robert Okamoto/LBJ Presidential Library/Wikimedia Commons
Born from the ambitious designs of West German innovator Hans Trippel, whose previous claim to fame included the iconic Mercedes-Benz Gullwing door, the Amphicar was envisioned as the ultimate land-to-water conqueror. However, reality failed to mirror ambition, as this amphibious marvel proved to be a sluggish, unstable, and notoriously unreliable vessel. Its shortcomings extended beyond performance, with safety concerns and a critical lack of watertight integrity tarnishing its reputation.
Meowlingual: Deciphering Feline Communication
https://projectdolittle.com/meowlingual/
Promising to decode your cat's purrs and meows into comprehensible audio translations, Meowlingual sparked intrigue and amusement among pet owners worldwide. However, despite its potential as a whimsical novelty item, the hefty price tag of $75 proved to be a barrier for many prospective buyers, relegating it to a niche market. Today, Meowlingual seems to have retreated into obscurity, no longer readily available outside of Japan. Yet fear not, for the quest to understand our purring pals persists. While Meowlingual may have faded from the scene, a plethora of apps now claim to offer similar functionality, albeit with varying degrees of success.
Twirl with Ease: The Quirky Tale of the Spaghetti Aid
Russell E. Oakes, ever the culinary innovator, returned to the limelight with his ingenious creation: the Spaghetti Aid. This curious contraption, immortalized in the Hulton Archive's collection, promised to revolutionize the way we tackle a bowl of spaghetti. With a simple turn of the lever, the fork would spring to life, spinning and neatly winding the strands of pasta around its metal prongs. While Oakes' ingenuity is undeniable, one can't help but ask, 'who the heck is this for?'
Safety First: The Pedestrian Safety Net of 1927 Berlin
This ingenious contraption, resembling a hammock-like net affixed to the front of cars, aimed to protect jaywalkers from the perils of traffic collisions. Demonstrations showcased its effectiveness, with pedestrians safely ensconced in the net after being scooped up by passing vehicles. Yet, like any innovation, practicality tempered ambition. Despite its noble intentions, the net's cumbersome size posed challenges, diminishing the driver's field of vision and potentially exacerbating safety concerns. Moreover, deploying the net at incorrect speeds or timings could yield perilous outcomes.
Radio Newspapers: The Printed Waves of Information
(Image credit: BNA Photographic via Alamy)
Spearheaded by William Finch and his visionary $125 receivers, this innovative approach utilized radio stations to transmit news directly into homes overnight, ready to be printed out by eager readers come morning. Each page, painstakingly delivered at a sluggish pace of 15 minutes per sheet, promised a glimpse into the world's events. Yet, despite its initial promise, the dream of radio newspapers was short-lived. Technical challenges such as information loss due to static and pesky paper jams plagued the experience, while the exorbitant costs involved proved unsustainable. Ultimately, Finch's ambitious endeavor met its demise in 1952 when financial woes forced his company into bankruptcy.
Smelly Movies: Aromatic Adventures in Cinema
(Image credit: Everett Collection, Inc. via Alamy)
In a bid to lure audiences back to the silver screen during the rise of television in American homes, movie studios embarked on a bold experiment: smelly films. The concept was as audacious as it was innovative—utilize scents synchronized with on-screen action to immerse viewers in a multisensory cinematic experience. Enter Smell-O-Vision, the brainchild of the 1960 movie "Scent of Mystery," which tantalized filmgoers with 30 distinct odors, each serving as a clue in the riveting narrative (spoiler alert: the killer's distinctive cologne proved pivotal). However, despite its initial allure, the road to olfactory cinematic bliss was fraught with challenges. Implementing the system in theaters proved prohibitively expensive, while technical glitches rendered the technology unreliable. Moreover, the lingering scents lingered long after the credits rolled, leaving audiences with more than just memories of the film.
Safety in Uncertain Times: The Gas-Proof Stroller of 1938
In the late 1930s, amidst the growing fears of chemical warfare, inventors sought ways to protect civilians from potential gas attacks. Enter the Gas-Proof Stroller of 1938, a peculiar invention designed to shield infants from toxic fumes. This bulky contraption featured an airtight enclosure with a viewing window, an air filter, and a hand pump to ensure fresh air circulation. While the intention was undoubtedly noble, the stroller’s cumbersome design and the improbability of everyday gas attacks rendered it more of a curiosity than a practical solution.
Illuminate Your Path: The LED Slippers Solution
https://odditymall.com/bright-feet-lighted-slippers
Picture this: tired and bleary-eyed, you rise from your bed for a midnight refreshment, only to find yourself navigating the treacherous terrain of your home's darkness. But fear not, for the LED slippers are here to light your way. Simply slip them on, and like magic, the path ahead is bathed in gentle illumination, sparing you from unexpected collisions with pesky corners and obstacles. How does it work? It's brilliantly simple: a press of the switch with your toes activates the LED lights, ensuring a safe and seamless journey through the night.
Wink Glasses: A Visionary Solution for Screen Fatigue
https://www.japantrendshop.com/masunaga-wink-glasses-p-1892.html
Crafted by Japanese manufacturer Masunaga, these innovative spectacles boasted a built-in clip-on device designed to monitor blink frequency. Should the wearer's blink rate dip below optimal levels, a mechanism triggers, causing one of the lenses to mist up momentarily, prompting a natural reflex to blink and refresh the eyes. The whole thing was a neat concept, positioning wink glasses as a must-have gadget for those tethered to their screens for extended periods. However, with a hefty price tag of £275, these visionary spectacles failed to gain widespread adoption, for obvious reasons (expensive, cumbersome, very nerdy).
Savor Every Bite: The Doughnut Dunker's Delightful Solution
Russell E. Oakes, you really did it you maniac. You created the Doughnut Dunker. Tired of sticky fingers and messy encounters with this beloved treat, Oakes devised an anti-drip doughnut stick to elevate the dining experience to new heights of cleanliness and convenience. With the Doughnut Dunker in hand, enthusiasts could indulge in their favorite circular delight without fear of messy mishaps. While Oakes' invention undoubtedly showcased a knack for practicality and innovation, its commercial success may have been less certain.
Bedridden Maestros: The Musical Marvel of 1930s Piano Beds
Originating from Great Britain, these remarkable contraptions revolutionized practice sessions for bedridden individuals, bringing the joy of music within arm's reach. Positioned "conveniently" at the foot of the bed, the piano bed extended towards the hands of the musician, resembling a precursor to modern-day keyboards albeit with a quaint, clunky charm. Despite their utilitarian appearance, these piano beds represented a beacon of hope and creativity for bedridden musicians, allowing them to hone their skills and stay connected to their musical pursuits even in the midst of illness.
The Pluto Lamp: Illuminating Innovation and Culinary Convenience
Islington Local History Centre
A marvel of Victorian ingenuity, the Pluto Lamp offered weary passersby a respite from the cold with its dispensation of hot water, coffee, tea, and even nourishing beef stock, alongside an array of other small essentials. However, despite its promise of convenience, the Pluto Lamp's reign was short-lived, as the resourcefulness of locals soon unearthed a flaw. Utilizing small pieces of tin as makeshift currency, enterprising individuals discovered a means to pilfer from the machine, prompting its untimely demise by October of the same year.
The Curious Case of the Dog-Restraining Device
An extendable arm designed to curtail the movements of man's best friend, this invention raised eyebrows for its audacious attempt to redefine the bond between humans and their loyal companions. However, amidst the clatter of gears and levers, one can't help but ask the immortal question - why? After all, Mary Delaney had already staked her claim to canine control with her patent for the humble dog leash back in 1908, and we're still rocking it today.
Ahead of Its Time: The Toshiba View Phone
Long before the era of the iPhone and FaceTime, Toshiba was already exploring the possibilities of video communication with its pioneering Model 500 View Phone. This visionary device offered a glimpse into a future where visual communication would become commonplace. While the View Phone may have been ahead of its time, its design merits recognition. Placing the camera adjacent to the screen was a stroke of practicality, eliminating the dreaded "up-the-nose" angle that plagues modern video calls. However, despite its innovative features, the View Phone ultimately fell short of practicality due to its cumbersome size, rendering it impractical for everyday use.
